Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do vagina's smell?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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