i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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