There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
