We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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