well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
