I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
