belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
