Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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