Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
