This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
