awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
