So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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