Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
