On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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