I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize