Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
