Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
