the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
