Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
