I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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