:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize