google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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