Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
