Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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