So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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