This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Pooping to opera.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
