carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize