have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
