hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
