my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
