So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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