I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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