I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
