She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize