Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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