I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
