thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
