K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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