Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize