he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize