Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
