i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
