People in love make me want to vomit
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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