yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
