what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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