I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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