I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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