My pussy is not your playground.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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