I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
