even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
