your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
