doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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