Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Someone signed my nipple.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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