Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
