hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
