How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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