Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
