If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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