I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
