I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
